so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize
