covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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