One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
