I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
