The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
