I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
