i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
