I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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