need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
