I'm eating all of the evidence.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
This is my gift to your gina
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
