I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
