Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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