is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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