this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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