i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
