Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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