My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
