Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
