You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
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So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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