Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
