Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
