im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
