im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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