I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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