Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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