I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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