i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
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Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
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Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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