Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
