Betty ford says i'm here all night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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