I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
