she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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