so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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