I faked an abortion last night.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
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I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
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He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.