Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?