Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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