I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
