He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
