You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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