I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
