then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
