is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she pinky promised me she was 18
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
