@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
