you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
