WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
