i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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