bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
