found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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