You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Boobs speak an international language.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
