oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize