so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
