So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
