I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize