he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
either way he was missing a nipple.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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