what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
They have beer where we have blood.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
