man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
