he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
