would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize