dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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