i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
