My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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