I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
