Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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